Lots has been going on in my life lately and yet I find myself at a total loss for what to say about it. Usually I’m right in there analyzing and thinking and worrying about whether or not I am where I should be. Not this time. Which is why I think I haven’t had the wherewithal to write a blog post this week.

I have this blog that I started over 4 years ago because I was told I should have a blog when I was going through my Life Coaching Certification. So I’ve stuck with it over the years and the topics have meandered from here to there. I’ve written some great posts and some not so great ones. Sometimes I’ve written because I had to write – because I had committed to having a blog. Most often, though, I’ve written because I love to write.

Now my business and my life are taking yet another turn. I’m not analyzing it though, and I’m finding myself just riding the wave and trusting. This is something that I have been cultivating in myself for years and I feel like the seed has finally spouted out of the soil! I trust. I am in the flow. I love it!

So my blog will continue to meander and I’m pretty sure I will write about all sorts of things as I set out on my latest adventure. I’m still passionate about empowering kids and about helping parents awaken to their own potential. I’m still here to support those who are ready for more and who want to let go of their past baggage. And I’m also working with amazing new business partners and we’re creating different ways of empowering others. And what’s making it so exhilarating for me is that I trust my heart in this new direction. I’ve thrown analysis to the wind and I’m going for it.

You cannot not communicate! Even when you don’t say a word out loud, the rest of you is communicating. How do you ensure that you’re always communicating exactly what you want? How do you connect with people you don’t know and communicate easily with them? Especially with your children? The answers lie in building rapport with others.

When you easily connect with others and the conversation flows it means you have rapport with that person. When the conversation feels like it’s pulling teeth then chances are you are out of rapport. The good thing is that you can build rapport very easily once you understand the mechanics of it. You actually do it all the time already. Here are a couple tips to do it more consciously.

1. Using your Sensory Acuity. As you’re speaking to someone notice their physical shifts on their face and in their body language. As we think and feel things they show up in our body language and on our face. The important thing to keep in mind here is that as you pay attention to these physical signs of change in the other person – they are simply that – physical signs of change. These signs do not tell you what the person is thinking or feeling, only that they have experienced a shift. You can’t even tell if it’s a shift to the positive or negative inside them, only that they have shifted. The main things to look for are their rate of breathing, tightness of the muscles under their skin, and their pupil dilation.

1. Rapport is established by matching and mirroring three main things: body language and gestures, tone of voice, and the things they say. The important thing to keep in mind is to match and mirror these outside of the other person’s conscious awareness. This is a key point because if they notice you matching their gestures or saying many of the same words they say, they will think you are mimicking them – a sure way to end rapport. Be subtle about it and notice how you connect more easily with others. This works especially well with teens.

So the next time your child or teen or spouse isn’t listening to what you’re saying because they are absorbed in another world, take some time to build rapport with them by matching and mirroring what they are doing and saying. Be subtle and have the positive intention to connect with them in a loving way. It will take practice and it is well worth the effort.

Kasia Rachfall is an effervescent speaker, author of Keys For Moms: Enough is Enough! and parenting expert whose grand golden mission is to empower children through releasing their parents from preconceived values, guilt, past hurts, and judgment. Starting at the source, she assists parents to bring conscious responsibility to the future. With tools such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Time Empowerment®, Kasia holds your heart while you move forward and take control of your life.

I’m always amazed, even though I’ve been through it many times, at how profound negative experiences can be and how much they can teach us. Why is it so much easier to learn from a negative experience than a positive one? The negative ones bring us face to face with ourselves and then we have little choice but to look inside.

I’ve been here many times: I have an intuition and I don’t listen to it, then I find myself face to face with the Universe’s Frying Pan and WHAM! It wakes me up and I finally get the lesson. I recently had an experience like this again. And, thankfully, learned what I needed. I am also positive, that from now on I will listen to my intuitions because, no matter how they seem not to fit into what I think I want, they turn out to be right. I’ve learned to discern that much.

What I learned from my latest encounter with the Universe’s Frying Pan is that I can always act from a place of choice, not a place where I don’t think I have a choice. There is always a choice even if it doesn’t appear desirable in the moment. There is a greater plan that we’re all living in and as much as we’d like to think that we know what it is, we don’t. That was a tough one to admit to myself – I don’t know what the bigger plan is. But when I listen to my intuition and follow it, I live that plan.

I love to read about your experiences! Have you ever had an experience where you didn’t listen to your intuition and wished you had?

Kasia Rachfall is an effervescent speaker, author of Keys For Moms: Enough is Enough! and parenting expert whose grand golden mission is to empower children through releasing their parents from preconceived values, guilt, past hurts, and judgment. Starting at the source, she assists parents to bring conscious responsibility to the future. With tools such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Time Empowerment®, Kasia holds your heart while you move forward and take control of your life.

I’ve had several moms and dads recently tell me that their youngest child (usually a toddler) is the most demanding, whiny, unreasonable, and unruly child out of all their children! And the way their youngest behaves causes them a lot of stress and anger and makes them feel helpless. I hear it often “My first child was so easy…why is this one so challenging?”

Good question. What is it about younger children that brings about these feelings? The answer may surprise you. Parents do their best to parent all their children in the same way so that all children know they are equally loved and equally important. You see, parenting the same way may actually be what’s causing the issue.

All kids have their own personality and that personality comes out very quickly. All kids need love and support but the difference is that not all kids need it in the same way. Some kids need more boundaries, more guidance, more patience, more time, or less of these things.

Because parents expect themselves to parent each of their children the same way, they also expect their kids to respond and behave the same way.

Once parents have more or less figured out how to raise the first child, they tend to expect even more from the second child because their first is already doing so many things. I know I went through this even through my kids are close in age. If you have a large gap between children you may not remember what it was like the first time around.

The solution is to understand what type of parenting each child needs and to parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had. All children are magic and they bring so much to our lives in different ways. You can label a child difficult, unruly, or whiny, but chances are they are simply not getting what they need in the way that they need it. I expected both my kids to be the same and they are not. They are distinctly different and have different needs. Once I realized this I was able to adjust my parenting and my expectations to fit each child’s needs.

Learning how your child responds in situations, how they know they are safe and loved, and how to respond to their behaviours and reactions is part of treating them with the respect they deserve.  If your first child was outgoing and never afraid of anything and your second child is more shy, telling your second child that they shouldn’t be shy is not going to help.

It takes some experimenting and willingness to adjust your own parenting style to each child. Once you do, you will enjoy your children so much more!

Do you have a story about your youngest and how you solved it? Please share it on our FB page or in the comments.

Kasia Rachfall is an effervescent speaker, author of Keys For Moms: Enough is Enough! and parenting expert whose grand golden mission is to empower children through releasing their parents from preconceived values, guilt, past hurts, and judgment. Starting at the source, she assists parents to bring conscious responsibility to the future. With tools such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Time Empowerment®, Kasia holds your heart while you move forward and take control of your life.

I got one of those phone calls this morning. You know, the call that comes at a time that is unusual for phone calls. It was my dad and he said my great aunt in Poland had passed away early this morning. We all knew she was going to pass soon because she was recently diagnosed with a fast growing brain tumor. She was 81 and told everyone that she was ready to go. She had enjoyed her life and she was ready. I thought I was ready too.

This is the first person who was close to me that has passed away. I know she won’t be the last. I know that death of the body is just a step to another plane of existence and that her spirit is now joyous. Her spirit has even visited me and wrapped me with love. But I’m sad and I think this is just part of being human. So I’m going to be sad and send love and light to my family in Poland who, I’m sure, is a lot more sad than I am. And I’m going to go through whatever grieving process awaits me and support my grandma and my mom through it too.

I’m grateful that I’m able to hear and feel my spirit guides, angels, and also my aunt’s spirit because that really helps me feel ok about all this. Sad and ok.