The word of the year has become a fun tradition for me and many of the parents I work with. I learned about it from my mentor, Mari Smith. She chooses a word that describes a main theme that she wants to focus on for the year.  What started out as a fun thing to do has turned into a new way of focusing my energy to create what I want in my life.

It’s simple: you choose a word that will represent the overall vision of what you want to focus on, accomplish, and be in the upcoming year. It took me a while to choose just the right word for 2012. I dug down to uncover what it is that I really want to focus on and connect to – and I found it!

I remember when I was suffering from post-partum depression and all that other turmoil was going on in my life, I didn’t believe that anything good was ever going to happen again. Now my work centers around creating possibilities with parents and helping them believe that they can have a wonderful family life with no back talk from their kids, no bickering with their partner, no overwhelm or overcommitment and thin schedules. Believing really is the starting point for creating change. Believing it’s possible – and sometimes that’s all you have to go on.

So my word for 2012 is Believe. Because it’s what’s gotten me this far, it’s what keeps me excited about my work as I contribute to my vision of what I want this world to be for my children and all children, and it’s fundamentally what I offer parents who are serious about empowering their kids.

So if you were to choose a theme word for 2012, what would it be? Let me know on our blog or our Facebook page

This was the first year in a very long time that I enjoyed my Christmas. It’s tough to admit, but, there it is. I’ve felt my fair share of guilt over it…I have the perfectest family and so I should be happy but I wasn’t. I wasn’t aware that I had all the ingredients I needed until recently.

The family gatherings would drive me crazy. I did not enjoy the endless hours of cooking and baking only to eat it all in the span of one evening. I didn’t like the way Christmas has become commercialized and all the shopping and spending. And the list could go on and on.

So what changed for me this year? It was a combination of things and I really wish I knew the exact mix of ingredients so that if I ever find myself in that place again I could replicate the way out quicker. The good news is I have the list of ingredients and so recipe should be fairly simple to replicate.

1. Be grateful for who I am, what I have, and everyone I love – and express this gratitude

2. Let go of the things and people who don’t bring positive things to my life (ie: toxic relationships, sugar & wheat)

3. Focus on what I love about the people in my life

4. Eat what I love

5. Work on my to do list in 15-30 minute increments and be happy with what I’ve accomplished instead of what I haven’t.

6. Meditate every day

When I look at this list of ingredients it seems so simple! Aha! Because it is simple, isn’t it? I am looking forward to simplifying and loving my life even more in the coming year. I think I’ve also picked my Theme Word for next year. I will share that with you next week.

The Christmas weekend is only 5 days away and I’ve experienced first hand how crazy this time of year can get. (that is of course if you let it)

Are you one of those people that tries to make everything absolutely “perfect?”.I put perfect in quotations because perfect is different for absolutely everyone. Do you take on more than you want to, because you feel you need to entertain ALL your friends and family at this time of year? Do you create more stress than you need to? Do you spend more money than you know you should? Do you decorate more than is necessary? ALL of these things have one thing in common, they take time and energy. If you are not fully LOVING all those activities you can generate a lot of really negative energy. And this energy can and will be felt by everyone around you.

Here is my take on it. Over time, Christmas has become the most commercialized holiday of the year. I personally do not agree with this thought process. A few gifts, fine. But really, I believe the gift purchasing has gotten out of hand and everyone worries that the person they are buying for will not like their gift, so you may buy a bigger or more expensive gift and on and on and on. (It’s Just Stuff)

I, unfortunately, have spent many a Christmas away from home due to work and have missed much of the family hoopla.  Crazy and weird it sounds, thought, I look forward to that every year. Michael Bublé put it best in his Christmas special last week when he said “Christmas is when we get together, put our petty differences aside and create new petty differences.” This made me laugh out loud, because seriously, this is true for many people.

NOW, it is more important than ever to slow down, take a step(or two) back and really look at what you have to appreciate this year. NOT the Stuff. Look at your relationship with your spouse, your kids, all your other family and friends and most importantly your relationship with yourself. Really look at the fun you have had this past year. Stay away from the negative stuff, it doesn’t matter right now. And please DO NOT subscribe to the craziness that people put on themselves and then they end up not enjoying and not really remembering the holiday season.

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year to all our readers.

Bryan Rachfall is the CEO of Fresh Perspective Works. His creativity and magical computer skills keep things rolling smoothly. He’s also an empowered dad and a true visionary that’s forging the path for parents around the world to empower their kids.

When I worked in corporate I had set hours: 8:30-4:30. I had to be there and fill the time in between with work or if there wasn’t enough work, I had to look busy. That “set hours” mentality has been tough to unlearn even though it’s been almost two years since I haven’t worked in corporate. It’s an old habit that has recently cropped up with mega stress for me!

As a business owner I can set my own hours and be as efficient or as laid back as I want. Of course the most logical thing for a business owner to do is to be efficient. My drive for efficiency was stressing me out! It’s been a big source of overwhelm for me because my to do list never really gets shorter. In fact, it just keeps growing.

One day Bryan said to me that I don’t have to stick to the usual corporate hours anymore – I work in my own business and I can set my hours! So why was I getting all stressed out? Indeed, why?

I had followed experts’ advice and put a pause on all extra activities while I was building my business foundation. The problem now was that I never hit play on those fun things again. I continued to deny myself fun times in the interest of efficiency and that darned to do list. This meant that because I wasn’t having any fun I wasn’t being any fun either.

I was snippy with the kids and with Bryan. I wasn’t present or mindful with them and I felt bad about it – but I couldn’t really put my finger on what my biggest source of stress was!

Then Christmas came around and I started reading some of my old craft magazines. I loved crafting and drawing and painting and sewing but I had put a pause on it! Well, it was time to unpause.

SO this past weekend I dug out a bunch of paints, paper, and other doodads and the kids and I made Christmas cards. And we had so much fun! I didn’t care about the mess or the glitter that even ended up on our cats somehow. I just lost myself in the fun of creating again.

I got this cool book from a new friend named Violette who is a great artist lives in a magical cottage in White Rock. She told me that art saved her life and she wrote this book called Journal Bliss. Now I was rediscovering how art was putting fun back into my life.

The kids made amazing creations and my cards are pretty cool too. Now I am definitely going to make the time every day to doodle or draw something. It makes me happy. And it’s simply true that when Mama’s happy so is the rest of the family. I have more patience and I feel more joyous around my family. I’m sure they are glad to have a more fun mommy too!

Is there something that you have put a pause on that you want to go back to doing? Would it fill your soul to dive back into that activity?

I’d love to know what it is! Please share on my Facebook page or in the comments.

Here are some of our creations:

Family Focus Friday: A revolutionary new Blog Talk Radio show for parents

The statistics facing families today are scary and getting scarier by the year, not getting better! Family empowerment expert, Kasia Rachfall and blended-families expert, Lisa Perry team up to discuss and provide deeper … insight into the issues families face today. This is a “no-fluff-zone – NOT your “what diapers to use” show. Lisa and Kasia take a frying pan approach towards dealing with the deeper underlying issues that make or break a family, no matter what kind of family you are. The topics are deep – but we won’t leave you hanging! Listen in and discover practical and sometimes amazingly easy strategies that you can use right away. You’ll be surprised at how even some of the toughest situations have the simplest ways out.

In this week’s episode:

Have you ever thought this about your relationship?? Do you feel that you were in love at the time and didn’t consider all the other things that go along with being with that erson long-term?

Often, people site this as an overall reason for separation and eventually divorce.

Kasia and Lisa will talk about the 4 main reasons why men and women tend to jump in to relationships too soon and what it all means when people do this – and the reasons might not be what you think they are!

If you find yourself in this situation – should you end it, should you work it out?

Listen in as they discuss options to tackle the underlying issues in a way that helps you meet your needs as a couple and to build a stronger and happier family.