YOU hold the keys to living an empowered life in YOUR hands. When you take 100% responsibility for your choices, your actions and your inactions, your life will change immediately.  You’ll recognize the excuses and reasons you have for staying in your comfort zone and suffering through your current story, and your story will change!  You are the creator of your reality.  Dr Wayne Dyer says that when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. It’s true. You will see immediate results when you use this book because your mindset will shift.

Are you squeazing 36 hours worth of stuff into a 24 hour day?  You’re so busy doing things for your family that I’m willing to bet that YOU come last! At the same time you’re probably saying to yourself, “It’s my responsibility to do these things! I’m the mom!”

Do you get so run down trying to fulfill the roles that you don’t take time for yourself, and then complain about to your girlfriends or husband? 

Deep down, you know if you let go of the guilt about taking care of yourself and you stopped feeling afraid of changing things that aren’t working in your life, you would feel happier, more fulfilled, and less resentful of all those responsibilities you have taken on.

Do you feel you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way and you’re taking care of everything and everyone else except you?  You tell yourself “someday” you will be able to find the time to enjoy your hobbies and work on your personal growth. For now, you’re going through the motions day after day — and the years slip by. 

Just because this is your life now doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever. In fact, you have the power to change it today.  Right now. You just have to choose to change and give yourself permission. This is very important. You can only change what you are 100% committed to changing. 

Changing your life doesn’t have to be complicated or take a long time. What it does take is commitment from you to put yourself and your needs first, to work on yourself, to be honest and willing to make whatever changes you need to make to achieve the life you want.

You must be willing to let go of excuses.  My own mentor, Fabienne Fredrickson, always tells me: when you’re interested, you do what’s convenient; when you’re committed, you do whatever it takes.  This John Assaraf quote is now a favourite of mine.

There are three requisites to creating change.  First you must focus on what you want.  Then you must clear out the negativity, limitations, and other mental and emotional gunk and sludge that is keeping you stuck.  Third, you must maintain your focus and take action.   You have the keys within yourself to unlock the door to endless possibilities.  

This book is divided into three sections.  Begin by working through the first section on getting clear on what you want.  Choose a key that you feel comfortable with and work on it for a one-week period.  Once you master the key, choose another one. While some of these suggest actions, others are simply concepts that involve making a conscious choice.  Practicing the actions will help you make them automatic. This process will take some time, and it is meant to . . . the purpose is not to overwhelm you.  I recommend first choosing the keys that speak to you the most or the ones that you know you can commit to easily.

Commit to yourself 100% and don’t waiver — no matter what anyone says.  These keys will light your path to your transformation into an empowered and fulfilled woman, a woman who has reclaimed herself and is now better able to not only fulfill her role as mom, wife, and professional, but also as a woman and a citizen of this world. You’ll become a woman who knows that the world is a better place because she is living and walking this earth.

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What You Don’t Want

You’ve probably heard it said that what you think about expands. What does this mean exactly? It means that wherever you put your focus and attention, you get more of that. Think about it this way: in the area of your life where you have everything you want and it’s working like a finely oiled machine, your focus is very likely not on all the things that make it not work. It’s on those wonderful things that make it such a great part of your life! If you’re a healthy and fit individual that is in great physical state then you don’t go around worrying that you’re going to lose that. Just like if you have a meaningful, close and loving relationship with your spouse you don’t spend your days thinking about how to avoid the next fight or argument. You don’t have to worry about such things because they are not part of your life. Because you don’t think about them or focus on them, they don’t come into your awareness. You focus on being healthy and on loving and respecting your spouse. And that’s what you get more of!

Now, in the area where you don’t have everything you want you probably spend a lot of your day worrying and thinking about how bad things are. If you don’t like your current job you focus on all the ways in which you don’t like it. Or if you’re battling your weight you focus on all the ways in which your body doesn’t behave or look like what you want it to. And you get more of the same! Even when you try to change something you are stopped by all sorts of fears that come up for you.

We can look at this from the scientific perspective too. Your unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives. Your unconscious mind is also the goal getter, it’s where your values, motivation, behaviours, beliefs, and attitudes are encoded. (This is why this System focuses so much on working with your unconscious mind – because that’s where the change must occur for it to last.)

When you think about what you want in your amazing relationship your unconscious mind helps you get more of that because you’re thinking about it in positive ways. For example, I want respect and love and closeness.

When you think about not wanting to be heavy or not wanting that job you hate, you think about it in the negative. For example, “I don’t want to be heavy and unhealthy” or “I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time” or “I don’t like this job.” Your unconscious mind can’t process “do not want” or “do not like” and what it hears you saying and thinking is “I do want” or “I do like.” And that’s what it helps you get.

“You can’t not think about something without first thinking about it; think about that.” ~Dr Matthew James.

The good news is that you already know what you don’t want. Once you clear all that out you can begin to focus on what you do want so that you get more of it in your life. Worksheet #2 will get you started listing all the things you don’t want.  Sometimes you need to empty yourself of all the negatives in order to be able to focus on the positives.

I’m in New York City for a few days this week and also in Stamford, CT, for a few days at my mastermind meeting.  NYC is a busy city – the busiest I have ever witnessed.  Even Vancouver, which was busy during the Olympics, pales in comparison to the crowds and traffic of NYC. 

What struck me while we made our way on the subway to Manhattan and also while walking around, sightseeing, is the types of people that would speak to or interact with us.  We had to ask for directions a few times and we also bought food and a couple little things.  The people, for the most part, were friendly and helpful. Some of them were annoyed and some extremely passionate about what drives them crazy.

Dr Matthew James teaches about perception is projection.  This is a concept that most people who are familiar with the NLP field will know about.  It means that the world outside of us is a projection of what’s inside of us.  It means, that those people I meet who are negative and focus on what they don’t want are at some level reflecting back to me what I still feel deep down.  

Some people are negative and that’s their stuff and as much as we are all beings of energy and we live in a holographic universe, we still experience the physical world around us.  So people have their own stuff and they love to share it.  I love to share my stuff too!  I strive to focus on the stuff that empowers and inspires me.  I don’t complain about things that are within my control to change – most of the time.   I also tend to attract people who are kind, positive, and have high energy about them.  And sometimes I interact withe people who are the opposite, it’s inevitable.

So where am I going with all this?  Well, that no matter how much releasing and self work we do, until we enlighten, there will always be bits and pieces of ourselves to work on.   The people we interact with will keep reflecting back to us what we project out there.  And this is a good thing!  Because it gives us a gauge of where we’re at.

Now that I am working within my true purpose here and building this business to empower others, I keep meeting more and more high energy people who pull me forward.  Which means that I am projecting out there more and more of what I want and more of the details of what’s possible for me.  I’m fortunate – so very fortunate! – that my husband, my kids, and some other members of my family understand what I want to build and support me so deeply in my pursuits.  It means that my projections to the universe have always reflected the things that I wanted to achieve, even before I knew about them.  And to me this is a comforting thought. 

It’s important for all of us to keep focusing on what we want and to be relentless about this.  The more we do, and the more we release our limits and self imposed ceilings, the better the world will reflect positive changes that we’re creating.  That’s the beauty of perception is projection!   There are so many awesome and easy tools to help release these things – all it takes is commitment and desire to do it.  Then we see what’s possible and we begin to understand the steps that we need to take to get what we want.  (Now, knowing how to know what you want – if you don’t know how to do that – that’s another blog post.)

After the Mindset Retreat in Miami with my awesome coach, Fabienne Fredrickson, a lot has changed for me.  I learned a ton and had some transformational aha moments even though I knew a lot of what she was talking about.  I went to the retreat for me and so I stayed open to the information.  After all, I was definitely struggling with my mindset in my business and I wanted relief from that.

It became clear to me that I wasn’t allowing myself to receive from the universe and I also was afraid to speak my truth.  I didn’t even realize that I was putting the brakes on in my own business by acting this way.  It wasn’t until a few very intuitive people and Fabienne told me specifically that I was standing in my own way and exactly how I was doing it too.  I needed to learn to receive and to trust myself.  It just goes to show that you can only be your own healer and therapist up to a certain point.  It takes others outside yourself to catch what you say and increase your awareness. 

I realized two big walls that I had built for myself that were blocking my success.  One of these was that I didn’t allow myself to be open and vulnerable about the struggles I was experiencing in my business because I thought I had to have it all figured out.  I mean, who would want to work with someone who doesn’t have everything figured out?  The truth is, I realized, that no one has everything figured out.  Not even the best coach in the world.  All they do is share what they know and help others to the best of their ability.  They are open to learning and continue to grow and develop themselves so that they can help others even more.

The second one was that I was afraid to speak about spirit/universal source/god or whatever you want to call it as being an important part of the work that I do because I didn’t want to be perceived as doing “woowoo stuff”.  In fact, I was afraid to even say that I believe it’s THE most important aspect of our life.  NOT in a religion sense but in a trusting that there is something bigger than ourselves sense.  I learned at the retreat that manifestation and attraction work and are scientifically proven to work  and you need spirit to make them work.  Not to mention, you need your spirit and your intuition in your life to guide you to live your highest purpose. 

Once I forgave myself for being imperfect and I truly accepted my own gifts I became comfortable with my work and how I talk about it.  I am ok with it if someone thinks I do “woowoo stuff” because I no longer feel I need to justify what I do or what I know.  I KNOW what I do works without a doubt and it’s not my purpose to convince anyone or defend my knowledge and my skills.  This powerful knowing that I now have is something that I wish to help others find.  And in order for them to find it, they need to be open to spirit and forgiveness and thinking differently about things they already know.

The most humbling and exhilirating result of all of this learning and release work that I did is that my business has shifted completely.  People are responding to me differently and I actually have clients! I built a solid foundation during all that time that I was hiding behind my fears and that’s the good thing that came out of all of that.  Now I really got out of my own way and let things take flight. 

I urge you to consider what beliefs and rules do you have that are stopping you from mkoving forward in your business or in your life?  Does it feel like you’re driving with your brakes on?  Be honest with yourself and be ready to let these beliefs go.  It will transform the way you experience your success.  You will feel free and you will prosper. 

If you don’t know how to identify or let go of the limiting beliefs that you know you have then schedule your free Strategy Session to find out if a Breakthrough Session is the right process for you.  It gets you where you want to go in record time.  The world needs what you have to offer.  Don’t hide behind fears and struggle – take action now.