We’re entering an age where anything is possible.  It’s always been this way – and now more and more people are becoming aware of it.  We can change anything about our lives – as long as we’re willing to put in the effort.  It’s not about working harder – it’s about working smarter and more effectively. 

The hardest part of any change is being ready to change.  Once you decide that you’re ready the change happens very quickly – instantly even!  Usually when the student is ready the teachers appear – as Dr Wayne Dyer says.  So when you become ready the right person, book, workshop, or experience shows up.

Let’s say you’re ready to deal with family baggage and stress.  You’ve tolerated the stress, miscommunication, and weight of it all and it’s taking a toll on your wellbeing.  Perhaps it’s causing rifts between you and your spouse or children.  Perhaps your body is in pain or ill. 

You realize that in order to eliminate your stress, regain control of yourself, and how you respond to the situations that arise, you are the one who has initiate the change.  You realize that this has nothing to do with fault or blame – and everything to do with personal responsibility.  You can’t change anyone else – you can only change your responses or reactions to others’.  This puts the power back into your own hands.

The most important step to creating positive change is to clean out all the baggage that you’re carrying around.  All your anger, sadness, fears, guilt, hurt, and any limits that you’ve adopted as truths for yourself.  If you’ve always pushed down negative emotions because you learned just to “get over it” then it’s like carrying around a concrete back pack.

Your unconscious mind stores all these emotions and limits and they impact all your decisions and behaviors.  They act as gunk and sludge through which you perceive your world.  Once this gunk and sludge is cleaned out you gain clarity, lightness, and relief – you literally feel happier and more in control of your emotions. 

Time Empowerment® Therapy is a rapid way to release this baggage.  It’s a powerful technique that has been used by governments in North America and Europe to help soldiers recover from Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  It works with your mind’s existing ability to release negative emotions.  Ask yourself this – have you ever been angry or sad about something that you’re no longer angry or sad about?  Your mind is already capable of releasing a negative emotion and Time Empowerment® Therapy lets you consciously drive this process rather than waiting for it to happen randomly. 

During  February 2011 Fresh Perspective Family is holding a contest and we’re giving away 5 complimentary session of Time Empowerment® Therapy.  Go to our Facebook page and “Like” it and post your comment to enter the contest.  The winner will be announced in the next issue of this ezine.  If you know of anyone who could benefit from this process let them know that they can enter the contest too.  Simply have them “Like” the Fresh Perspective Family Facebook page and post their comment that they want to enter.

There’s a great quote that I’ve read that always makes me stop and reflect:

      “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

The first time I read it I had a light bulb go on.  It takes real courage to do.  As much as being is important, doing can teach us a lot.  And not just doing for the sake of keeping busy.  I`m referring to the doing of that which naturally takes us closer to fulfilling our purpose here.

All the advancements in our civilization have come from others doing things – and facing the scrutiny and criticism of others.  I’ve come to realize that when we criticize or judge the ideas or work of others it’s because we either don’t believe, are afraid, or lack courage ourselves.  And by criticism I don`t mean authentic and well intended feedback that leads to improvement and growth.

Every time we criticize or judge it’s because something in the subject/object of our criticism brought up our own “stuff” – something we dislike in ourselves.  We can defend our own point of view by labeling the subject/object any number of names that we hope justifies our point of view.  Deep down, though, it`s all meant to deflect our attention away from whatever we are uncomfortable with inside ourselves. 

Human beings won`t stop creating, thinking, building, writing, learning…doing.  Every person, situation, and thing we are faced with in our life can teach us something.  We can either choose to judge and criticize it or we can choose to look within ourselves and learn something about ourselves when our “stuff” comes up.  Self reflection and learning take just as much courage as putting our creations and ideas out there for others to experience.

Children have a natural tendency to experience the world with awe and wonder.  They don`t automatically jump to what`s wrong with something that someone else created.  Children are courageous and ask questions and explore the old, the new, the regular and the different.  Children must be taught to judge and criticize – and I don`t know if that`s an important lesson to have to learn…what do you think?

Unlearning the act of criticism is something that also take courage.  And once we`re able to experience the ideas and works of others with the same type of awe that children do, we will feel a sense of freedom.  Of course not every idea or creation will fit into our own model of the world – but perhaps it will teach us something.  As parents we can then help our children to continue to have open minds and hearts and the courage to be and do what they are here for.  By letting go of judgment and criticism we open ourselves up to experiencing the world from a new direction.  By realizing that our ideas and creations will help others hopefully learn something, no matter how big or small, we have the courage to continue doing instead of choosing to be, say, or do nothing.

Honesty is the best policy, right? We were taught this as kids and we teach it to our children. Why is it then, that we sometimes lie to ourselves? Where do these lies come from?

Dr Bruce Lipton, author of Biology of Belief, offers an explanation. He states that our behavior is based on our perception of our environment. And our perception is based on our beliefs. Our beliefs form through all our life experiences and the people who have influence over us, especially when we’re young.

When we’re born we have a fresh mind and as we grow, our mind is imprinted by people and events we experience. As children and later as adults we decide how the world works. We form beliefs about the world and we behave according to what we believe.

The struggle happens when we want to change our behaviors or achievements. If our behaviors are dictated by our beliefs – whether true or not, in order to change our behaviors we would have to change our beliefs.

Imagine living your life with one of these seven statements.

1. I’ll never amount to anything

2. I’m worthless

3. I’m not smart enough

4. No matter how hard I try, it’s never good enough

5. Money is hard to come by and hard to keep

6. I don’t deserve to succeed

7. No one will ever love me

None of them are true and yet something caused you to adopt them as your own. If you believe in #7, you will struggle with relationships. If you believe in #5, chances are you will struggle with having enough money in your life. The examples are endless.

There could be any number of experiences or people who influenced you to adopt one of these statements in your life. The reason, however, is truly irrelevant. If you’re experiencing struggle in an area of your life then likely you’re telling yourself one of those 7 lies. At some point you decided that one of those things was true for you and so it is true for you.

In order to eliminate the struggle and easily succeed in all areas of your life it’s important to identify and eliminate these lies. It doesn’t matter where they come from, it only matters that you stop telling them to yourself.

Imagine, if everyone believed in these 7 statements instead:

1. I can accomplish anything I choose

2. I am a worthy and valuable person

3. I am intelligent and capable

4. I do my best and my best is good enough

5. I easily attract money into my life and use it wisely

6. I deserve happiness and success in my life

7. I love myself and I am loved by others

 Dr. Lipton’s research and writings on beliefs point to the fact that we are in control of our own change in life. Of course there are factors outside us that we have to take into account, however, much of the struggle could be eliminated if we looked inside ourselves first and cleaned up our own mindset. Dr Wayne Dyer states that we see the world as we are. Figure out how you view the world in those areas where you are struggling…then figure out how you can view it differently to achieve what you want.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4OB25828Lk[/youtube]

Excerpt From the Fresh Perspective Mindset Home Study System:

There are three prevalent communication styles that exist.  Knowing the differences between them and what to look for will help you communicate more effectively with your family, your friends and everyone you come into contact with.  Although most people do use more than one style at a time, everyone has a preference.  Knowing which style you prefer will help you become more flexible with your communication and allow others to understand you better.

1. Visual Communicators tend to speak quickly and sit and stand with their head and body erect and with their eyes up.  They breathe from the top of their lungs and often sit forward in their chair.  They memorize by seeing pictures and their thoughts can tend to wander which means they may have trouble remembering verbal instructions.  A visual person is interested in how something looks and tends to use words and phrases that reflect the visual modality.  Here are a few examples:

“I see what you mean”

“That’s very clear to me”

“I can visualise that”

“I can envision that”

1. Auditory Communicators tend to breathe from the middle of their lungs and often move their eyes sideways.  They can be easily distracted by noise.  They are able to easily repeat things back to you, learn by listening, and like music and talking on the phone.  They memorize by steps and sequences.  They like to be told how they are doing and are interested in how something sounds.  They will use language that reflects the auditory modality, saying things such as:

“Listen up”

“I hear what you’re saying”

“That’s music to my ears”

“Clear as a bell”

1. Kinaesthetic Communicators speak slowly and breathes deeply and from their belly.  They tend to look down and may also stand closer to people than the other communicator styles.  They memorize by doing or walking through something and are interested in what feels right.  Their language will reflect kinaesthetic words and phrases.  For example:

“Are you picking up on that?”

“Can you grasp this?”

“I have a handle on this”

“I feel you”

By listening attentively and paying attention to a person’s physiology and body language you can determine how they best like to communicate.  You can then build rapport with this person more easily by using some of the words and phrases that they use so that they will hear and understand you better.  It helps to know what type of communication style your family members have so that you can easily convey information to them in the way they like to receive information.  They are more likely to understand and remember what you said to them.