Perfection…seems like such a…well…perfect thing to strive for, doesn’t it?  So many of us have gotten caught up in wanting to reach it and have felt inadequate and far away even when we try really hard.

And moms tend to be the best at trying hard – and falling down even harder.  Perfection makes us feel like we’re not good enough and like we will never be as happy as we could be.  Because that green, harmonious, and perfect family life is always on the other side of the perfect fence.

Perfectionism can also cause us to procrastinate.  Truly, how can you ever finish something if you’re waiting for it to be absolutely perfect?  It’s really a no-win situation – especially when we hear our children one day say “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t get it perfect.”

Guess what, perfection is a learned attitude and parents are their kids’ greatest teachers.  So what can parents do to ensure kids don’t learn this self defeating attitude?

One way is to focus on excelllence.  Yes. Simple excellence. 

In fact, how do you feel about settling for excellence instead?  Settling for anything can make you feeli uncomfortable, but excellence is a way better choice to settle for than perfection.  For example, take a look at any survey with a scale of experience…1 being poor and 5 (or 10) being excellent.  It never says perfect. 

When you label yourself as a perfectionist you have a great excuse for not starting a project or not finishing one.  Ask yourself how is this label serving you and supporting what you want to accomplish in your life.  Sell your perfectionism and purchase excellence and you’ll be amazed at how different the world will be.

AND, you can feel good about what you’re teaching your kids too.  You and your children will be a lot happier understanding that perfection is a fleeting state and puts you under a lot of pressure.  Excellence can be easily attained and is just as good.

This July Long Weekend was our first camping trip of the year.  We loaded up our sedan and headed north to Squamish for 3 days.  The weather was clearing up and we were all very excited about spending some time doing some de-stressing and relaxing. 

I have a theory on stress especially after this weekend.  It needs to be processed and nothing processes it like the clean and renewing energy of nature, next to Time Empowerment Techniques, of course.  We spent a lot of time walking around and playing ball and frisbee – and staying out of each others way! 

It’s been a long winter and really not much of a spring so we’ve spent more time in doors than we’re used to as a family.  On this trip we found ourselves excited, eating smores and chips (and some veggies), and staying up late around the camp fire, and so a few arguments came up here and there on day 1. 

Day 2 was better and we enjoyed more ball games and less arguing.  But it wasn’t until Day 3 that we all really relaxed and truly had fun.  I started thinking about it because holidays are supposed to be relaxing the whole way through, aren’t they?  That’s what I thought until now. 

There is a book by Gregg Braden called Earthing where the author talks about our connection to nature and recharging our batteries by being in direct contact with nature.  Dr Wayne Dyer also talks about this in his work.  He says walking around barefoot helps to restore our internal balance and helps us sleep better, for example.   I practice this after a long day and feel so much better but I know I don’t practice it enough. 

After 3 days spent in nature all of the stress that had built up over time was finally coming out of all of us – at the same time.  I think this is why we were all on edge for the first little while.  We’re a calm family and so to experience this onslaught of energy being released was interesting and we weren’t used to it.  I felt bad about it at first because I do a lot of emotional releases and keep myself calm and balanced.  Then I realized that although my processes and practices are fantastic and work very well, nature has it’s own way of helping us return to balance a lot faster.  There are many ways to eat an elephant.

On the last day it clouded over and they were calling for rain all night and the next day.  We decided to pack up while our gear was still dry and go home.  I’m glad we did because we all got an awesome night’s sleep at home that night and had a lovely Sunday riding our bicycles at Iona Beach. 

I am positive that the next camping trip in August will be different and that we will return to calm a lot faster.  The summer weather has finally arrived and we’ll be doing a lot of out doorsy stuff and letting nature pull stress out of us at the same time.

I was at a training this past week that was all about the Power in You (Do Yourself a Favor  right now and go to one of their FREE evening courses. YOUR life will never be the same again). 

Now I’m a person who works on myself all the time. I am aware of what I think and say to myself – at least as much as I can get out of my own head.  I would consider myself to be very self observant.  I also know that I don’t know everything and so I went into this training with an open mind and ready to soak it all in.

I wasn’t disappointed.  In fact, I was blown away at how much I grew during three short days and how I FELT afterwards.  This wasn’t one of those “ra ra – feel good” sessions that fizzles out after a few days.  It was absolutely life changing and allowed me to face and let go of some deep stuff. 

“Stuff” is a great technical term for all those things we carry around that stand in our own way.

I realized that The Law of Attraction works.  In fact it works so well that it’s incredible!  And the key to it is emotion.  Yes, emotion.  Knowing what you want is important too – but not as important as emotion.  The universe and your Unconscious Mind don’t care about what you want to attract – they only care about how you feel about it.  Good or bad feelings – the predominant will always win.  Let me explain.

I have an interesting life story – we all do, in fact, but I will use my own as an example.  Throughout my life I learned how to see the world, how to feel about things, how to behave in different circumstances, how to focus on things, and other “stuff.”  Now I want to be exceedingly clear that everything in life happens for a reason and I do not blame my past or anyone in it for where I am today.  Not anymore.  I used to, but that’s another post. 

Some things in my life work for me and others don’t.  In some areas of my life I attract exactly what I want and in others I struggle.  In fact, I don’t even feel very good about some areas of my life.  I don’t really know what I want but I feel bad about not having it.  These bad feelings keep attracting more of what I don’t want.  I realized that I even felt bad about wanting something different in such areas as my health and my career, and so I kept attracting more of what made me feel bad.  Whereas in my immediate family, I aways felt good about my relationship with my husband and now with my kids, and so my family life is fantastic!

So the point is that if you know what you want and you feel good about it you will get more of what you want. 

If you don’t know what you want and you feel bad about what you do have, you will keep attracting more of what you have.

If you do know what you want but you’re not emotionally attached to it, you will keep attracting more of what you have.

How do we get emotionally attached to what we want?  We have to know what gives us meaning in our life.  I’m so grateful that I know how to let past negative emotions and limiting beliefs go easily and quickly because I can now focus more on what I want.  And I can feel what I want which means that I am activating the Law Of Attraction to bring me closer to my dreams. 

So if you want to prove to yourself that the Law Of Attraction works, just keep thinking what you’re thinking and feeling what you’re feeling, and you’ll get more of what you’re getting. 

I feel like I made a quantum leap in my mindset during this course I just took and I am going to share it with the world.  I can now feel what it’s like to dream big and believe that I can achieve that dream!

FOR REAL! The Power in You is life changing!

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.

You realize that the results you’ve been getting have plateau’d. You’ve tried and tried and you feel like you’ve really put your best self into it and yet your expectations aren’t being met.  Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a fitness program, or your family life – you’re not alone in this frustration you’re feeling. 

 Why do we get stuck in ruts of “trying” and don’t get what we want?  Because that’s what we learned to do. 

 As a child you experienced life and were influenced by those around you.  You were imprinted with their ideas, values, beliefs, and attitudes.  You learned and formed beliefs about the world and how it works.  Once you learn to do things a certain way this information is stored in your unconscious mind and it becomes second nature to you.

 It works much the same way as learning a skill or trade.  Once you learned how to tie your shoes, you do it without thinking because it’s now unconscious knowledge for you.  It’s like having a software program running in your neurology for everything you know and do.

 Your mind is powerful because it holds everything you have ever learned and makes behaving and thinking easy for you by sticking to what you know.  The problems and struggles develop when the way you’ve always done something or the way you’ve thought about something no longer fits in your life. 

 One surefire way to get unstuck and stop trying is to get curious. Yes. Curious.  

Instead of blaming yourself, your spouse, kids, boss, other circumstances, or making up excuses get curious about what you can learn, change, improve, or tweak to continue getting the results you want.  Find the resources you need to help you figure out how to move beyond this struggle.

 You may be thinking, “Really? Curiosity? It’s too good to be true.  Is it really that simple?”  You bet!  When a child gets stuck solving a problem or building a puzzle, what do you tell that child?  You encourage them to try something new, to think differently, or you may give them a hint or clue – something that opens up their mind to a fresh perspective and allows them to solve the problem.

You’re already aware that something isn’t working in your life because your results aren’t showing up.  Now get curious about your experience of this struggle instead of getting angry, upset, or blaming something or someone. Curiosity is a big step towards resolving that struggle because it’s not about fault or blame, it’s about getting the results you want and deserve. 

When you’re curious about what’s going on without judgment, you leave space for new insights to come to you about what’s going on. Make a list of all the external and internal struggles you’re curious about in your life.  Write this list from a place of non-judgment or labelling these struggles as good or bad.  They are what they are and objective curiosity about their nature and purpose is all we want for now.  From there you can identify the resources you have and need and you will become aware of your next logical step.

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.

My brother and his wife welcomed their first child yesterday.  He arrived at a healthy 8 lbs 2 oz and with a full head of hair.  He’s quite possibly the handsomest little baby next to my own son (of course!).

We went to visit him (and the parents) at the hospital and as we all marvelled at how perfect he is, I started to think about what great things he will accomplish and who he will become in his life.  Babies have this ability to make us think of all the possibilities that exist for them.  He’s like a blank slate just waiting to have greatness and potential written on it.

As we grow older we tend to forget that we don’t actually lose that greatness and potential – ever!  We always have the ability to make our life into whatever we want.  But somewhere along the journey of our life we decide that we can’t do things or we can’t have things.  We become this product of our conditioning and life experience. 

A good friend and owner of Awakening Works once shared some guiding principles with me and they have become the cornerstones of my life and my business.

1. We are beings of Unlimited Possibilities with potential just waiting to be discovered – believe in yours.
2. Self Awareness and Self Understanding are what propels us to create positive change in our life
3. When we are committed to Excellence and make Conscious Choices every day we become masters of ourselves
4. Accountability and Self-Discipline create Momentum
5. Success and Happiness are always Psychological – when you change how you viewthe world, how you respond, and how you think you change your reality.

I encourage my kids and my clients to practice each of these until they become second nature.  My life has become richer and successful in all ways because of these ideas.

Kasia Rachfall helps you stop letting your past to determine your future and your now. Did the above resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a new insight to add? Please share your thoughts.