What are you willing to give up today to build a stronger tomorrow?

This is pretty easy for me to answer. I’ve already been living without some of the things I used to do and have in order to be able to raise my children the way that I want to and to build my business successfully.  One of the things I had to do when I began this career change is put a pause button on all those activities that weren’t absolutely essential to my success and forward movement.  I was going to school, working, and had my family to take care of.  My priorities were, of course, my kids and my family, because even if this career flopped, I would still have them.

So I gave up TV (no big loss), my crafting hobby, tole painting, and also learning to play guitar.  I gave these up for the time being because in order to make sure this career didn’t flop I have to do whatever it takes to succeed.  And these are hobbies that I can pick up again whenever I want to.  I still do things for fun and I enjoy them.  It’s not that I don’t have any fun.  I’ve simply shifted what I do with the time that I have so that I guarantee my own success. 

This career chose me and I know it won’t flop.  It’s my passion and that’s what drives me.  I am building a stronger tomorrow for me and my family by focusing on those things that matter most right now and it’s very fulfilling.

This idea has been coming up a lot lately for me.  Everywhere I look, every conversation I have and every event I experience, I realize that my mindset really dictates everything in my life.  I can choose to be positive or negative and that starts a chain of feelings, of events, of experiences that create my life. 

It’s easy to say, just choose to be happy or just think happy thoughts.  The truth is, it’s not that easy.  If you’re someone who’s used to looking at the world in a certain way then it’s not so easy to just flip to another way of thinking on your own. Of course it’s possible with the right tools.  You can absolutely change your mindset in an instant if you have the right tools.  But without knowing how to do that it can be a frustrating process. 

I remember how frustrating because I was there.  I would read all these books and they’d all say just change your thinking and your life will change.  Now that I know how easy it is to change your thinking I can appreciate that message.  But when I didn’t know the “how” and only had the “what to do” I was frustrated.

This is why as many times as I’ve had to step back and refine my vision and push the reset button on my business, I’ve done it.  I’ve committed to doing whatever it takes to pursue this passion of mine.  Because I want everyone to know how easy it is to shift their mindset and look at and experience the world in an abundant way. I love to witness people having breakthroughs and changing their lives in ways that make them happy.  There is nothing better than that to me. 

I want to inspire people with the simple tools I know about to help themselves change.  It’s not just about thinking positive, it’s about more than that.  And I can’t wait to share it with you!

The Power of Contemplation

Kasia recently wrote a fantastic post for me about journaling. This got me thinking about contemplation and how the two are connected.

The word contemplation comes from the Latin root templum (from Greek temnein: to cut or divide). It means separating something from its environment and enclosing it in a sector, i.e. take a single thought or idea and focus on it to the exclusion of everything else.

I like to think of contemplation as different from meditation, in that, meditation’s goal is to be still with no thoughts. Where as contemplation can be used to receive answers to difficult questions.

Contemplation was an important part of the philosophy of Plato; Plato thought that through contemplation the soul may ascend to knowledge of the Form of the Good or other divine Forms. Plotinus as a (neo)Platonic philosopher also expressed contemplation as the most critical of components for one to reach henosis (the union with what is fundamental in reality: the One, the Source or Monad – God).

To Plotinus the highest contemplation was to experience the vision of God, the Monad or the One. Plotinus describes this experience in his works the Enneads. According to his student Porphyry, Plotinus stated that he had this experience of God four times.

On of the easiest way to contemplate is Journaling. By journaling, you’re recording your experience and your feelings about that thought or question. This can be very helpful, because sometimes the answers aren’t immediate. And with contemplation of a past experience the full impact of an experience may not revealed for several years.

Another form of contemplation is connecting with the Spirit or your Higher Source. In this method, you ask yourself a question about whatever it is you’re experiencing, in your life. This begin with I’d suggest a question or situation that has a minimal charge around it, i.e.

“What are 3 things that happened today I’m grateful for?”

Now, keep thinking…contemplating this thoughts and wait for the answer to come from deep within yourself…the answer will come.

At first you’ll be getting conscious answers (from your ego) and as you practice this, your ability to distinguish between your own mind giving you an answer and your Higher Self offering you its wisdom will become more apparent.

I utilize both of these methods to some extent throughout my day. Sometimes, I’m not in a position to journal (like when I’m at work). Other times lend themselves more easily to journaling (like right after my meditation practice).

A third method for contemplation uses both methods in conjunction with each other. Using them together creates a synergy that often unlocks some of the issues you may be really struggling with. When this happens, it can have a profound impact on your life.

Here’s how: Journal about your experience, and the feelings you have about it. Then connect with your Higher Source, and wait for its response. When you receive answers journal about what Higher Source reveals to you.

If you continue to have difficulty with the experience, you can return to this practice multiple times. As I stated before, sometimes, it may take days, weeks, months or even years to fully be able to separate the answers from ego vs. Higher Source…and the wait it worth it!

Step By Step Process

Contemplation can be used to receive guidance for like “How can I…?” and to release a charge associated with a person or situation. For the example below we’ll use releasing a charge around a person.

 Here’s a basic step by step process you can use to begin your contemplation for releasing a charge around a person.

1 – Set your mind to accept answers received within oneself from your Higher Source with in this distinctly internal adventure of contemplation.

2- Recognize a behavior in someone that you strongly dislike. Notice I said a behavior and NOT the person. People are not their behaviors! If you are having trouble with this concept this might be a great subject for contemplation . You can also contemplate on a situation you are experiencing or a abstract idea. For now we’ll use a person.

For instance: “John is mean to me”

Then there are number of ways to contemplate this thoughts and I like to use “The Work” from Byron Katie when it comes to a person or situation.

• Is it true?

 i.e. Is John really mean to me? At first the immediate reaction is yes! Of course it is…he’s done this and that to me.

• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

To be absolutely true the statement has be true 100% of the time. This is where the deep contemplation comes in. Is this statement true 100% of the time. Better yet…when is this statement NOT true? Like when you’re sleeping or playing with your children.

• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

This takes some deep “soul searching” and contemplation. We all tend to react instead of respond. Reaction is so unconscious that most of the time we’re not even aware of what we are doing. By contemplating on this thought you are automatically moving from reacting to responding.

• Who would you be without the thought?

This could be the toughest and longest part to the contemplation. When you contemplate this thought around the initial idea you move into a place of change and empowerment.

Then the big one! The Turn Around

After you have investigated your statement with the four questions, you’re ready to turn around the concept you’re questioning.

Each ‘turnaround’ is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see it from a different perspective.

A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to “my thinking,” when that feels appropriate). Find a minimum of three genuine, specific examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

For the original statement of “John is mean to me” three examples might be:

• My thinking is mean

• I am mean to myself

• I am mean to John

Now for some fun!

You can take each of the above statements and run them through “The Work” again. What you’ll eventually come to is all your statements and thoughts are neither true all the time, nor false all the time.

This can be very liberating, in that you get to choose the thought. By contemplating and selecting an empowering statement and thought you can move yourself from have no power to creating instant personal empowerment.

My brother is getting married today and so we have a lot of family from out of town.  It’s such an exciting day for the family because we’ve been waiting for two years for it.  It’s been an amazing journey for me to watch my kid brother grow from a quiet and video game obsessed guy into a man who has passionate conversations about fascinating things, who has a household and responsibilities.  He’s really come out of his shell since meeting his future wife and we’re so excited about that.  

My kids are both in the wedding party and I get to say the blessing.  My husband Bryan is MC at the reception so this is a whole family affair!

The weather is supposed to be gorgeous and I just know it will be a perfect day!

I’m excited to have Gregg Swanson of Warrior Mind Coach as a guest blogger today! Enjoy his inspiring message about the difference in serving and being of service. 

It still surprises me today that many men and women are living in the past…well at least back to the 50’s and 60’s.

More specifically, many women tend to put their families before themselves or at least deny themselves some of what they see is a “luxury.”

This type of thinking and energy can have a very harmful effect in many areas of their lives, in particular, their safety.

A friend of mine, Melissa Soalt aka Dr. Ruthless, in an article, “Fierce Love: The Heart of the Female Warrior” discusses the power of the female energy:

“The warrior spirit lies deep within us all. It’s a vital, rousing force that can turn the meek into the fearsome. Women, as a tribe, are endowed with their own warrior instincts and powers, borne in the female psyche and biology.

Nowadays, we hear a lot about higher callings, the yearning to connect with forces greater than one’s self, and about the power of returning to one’s roots. This is precisely the gift of self-defense—it returns women to native powers buried beneath fear and the rubble of socialization, and it bestows saving graces-not from heaven above, but from below—from our lower center of gravity curiously located near the site of the womb. (More reasons why self-defense is a womanly art!)”

This is real female empowerment!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you toss your husband and kids to curb and go out kick some bad guy’s butt. What I am offering is a chance to look at your energy, thoughts and beliefs about you and your role in your relationships.

Are you a “servant”, playing taxi driver, head cook, or maid because you feel obligated?

Or are you the goddess that lovingly takes care of herself first so that she can then take care of her family because she desires to and enjoys it?

See the difference?

They are both the same action, but one is coming from fear and obligation and the other from joy and desire.

 Are you a woman from Greece or from Sparta?

Here’s a small account of who and what Spartan women were

• Women’s roles in Sparta weren’t limited to marriage as well as procreation (as many within Greece). Spartan women experienced numerous privileges that many other Greek women didn’t possess. Specifically, they could own and control their own property. A woman was expected in times of battle to take ownership her husband’s property, and to guard it against invaders and revolts until her husband returned; hence many Spartan women are pictured as warriors.

• Spartan women were taught reading and writing. They were also expected to be able to protect themselves. A girl’s education was equally as brutal as the men’s; many athletic events such as javelin, discus, foot races, and staged battles were also for both sexes. In many such events, Spartan women would run naked in the presence of their male counterparts and were respected for their athletic feats.

• The freedom and greater respect for Spartan women began at birth with laws that required female infants and children to be given the same care and food as their brothers. Like their brothers, Spartan girls were expected or required to attend the public school, although for a shorter period of time than the boys. At school they were allowed and encouraged to engage in sports.

• With their husbands confined to barracks and on active service until the age of 31 and frequently called up for campaigns or engaged in political and civic duties thereafter, it was left to Sparta’s matrons to run the estates. These meant that Spartan wives controlled the family wealth—and in effect the entire Spartan agricultural economy.

• A Spartan citizen was dependent on his wife’s efficiency to pay his “dues” to his dining club. What was more, Spartan women could inherit and so transfer wealth. This is clearly evidenced by contemporary descriptions of Spartan women. They were “notorious” for having opinions (“even on political matters!”)

• In a frequently quoted incident, the wife of King Leonidas was allegedly asked why Spartan women were the only women in Greece who “ruled” their husbands. Gorgo replied, “Because we are the only women who give birth to men.” In other words, only men with the self-confidence to accept women as equals were men at all.

OK…so maybe I got a little carried away with the history lesson. The point I’m attempting to make is that when a woman considers herself as a warrior and goddess she will have a much more fulfilling life. A life filled with adventure, pleasure and abundance.

Here’s a few definitions of “servant”

• One who expresses submission, recognizance, or debt to another

• Serving, waiting

• To attend, wait upon

Now here are a few definitions of “goddess”

• A woman of extraordinary beauty and charm

• A greatly admired or adored woman

• A female being believed to be the source of life

Which one if more empowering?

The point here is to bring into harmony both aspects that will support you and your family in your life’s journey together.

By attending to yourself first you will have more to give, after all you can’t give what you don’t have. You are a goddess that deserves to live a life for herself so that her family will live in a strong, caring, loving and protected environment.

No go take that bubble bath you’ve been dying for!

Please let us know your comments below.